Being a buzzkill is such a buzzkill
4 more sleeps until surgery.
I've begun breaking the news to some friends and colleagues on this side of the pond but, among others, have yet to inform my parents. They're so blissfully unaware and on a much deserved vacation. While breaking the news to them is just a question of time, I am dragging my feet. I don't want to cause them heartache.
I originally told some girlfriends about 'the double whammy' to feel a bit more connected and I told my team about my cancer diagnosis so we could plan for me turning down the dial at work. For me, it was the obvious thing to do. I shouldn't have been so surprised given the wonderful people in my life but I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. I know I'll read those emails and cards many times in the weeks and months to come and the apartment smells of fancy fresh flowers.
My how feelings can change in three days. Now I don't feel the desire to tell people to feel less isolated or due to a need for work coverage. In fact I don't want to tell people because I don't want to be the cause for their sadness. I don't want to see their face contort with concern or imagine their eyes going wide on the other side of the phone - especially not my parents.
A humble bit of introspection - I've been told my laugh and positive nature is contagious. I love nothing more than giving friends gifts that I know they'll love or making them a meal that plays to their preferences. Being a buzzkill is such a buzzkill!!
I've begun breaking the news to some friends and colleagues on this side of the pond but, among others, have yet to inform my parents. They're so blissfully unaware and on a much deserved vacation. While breaking the news to them is just a question of time, I am dragging my feet. I don't want to cause them heartache.
I originally told some girlfriends about 'the double whammy' to feel a bit more connected and I told my team about my cancer diagnosis so we could plan for me turning down the dial at work. For me, it was the obvious thing to do. I shouldn't have been so surprised given the wonderful people in my life but I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support. I know I'll read those emails and cards many times in the weeks and months to come and the apartment smells of fancy fresh flowers.
My how feelings can change in three days. Now I don't feel the desire to tell people to feel less isolated or due to a need for work coverage. In fact I don't want to tell people because I don't want to be the cause for their sadness. I don't want to see their face contort with concern or imagine their eyes going wide on the other side of the phone - especially not my parents.
A humble bit of introspection - I've been told my laugh and positive nature is contagious. I love nothing more than giving friends gifts that I know they'll love or making them a meal that plays to their preferences. Being a buzzkill is such a buzzkill!!
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