Grace?

I received many lovely notes as those in my life learned that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  One of the sweetest notes was from an unexpected sender - our wedding photographer.  She said that from the moment we met the only word she could use to describe my presence was grace.  Grace.  Such an elegant word.  Well, grace is about the last thing I'm feeling today when I can't tie my hair up by myself and a walk around the block demands a nap.

In my reading before surgery I learned that the emotional and mental challenge of cancer would also require my strength and dedication.  I've got this, I thought.  I've practiced yoga for almost 15 years.  I stepped up my meditation practice.  I made plans to start going to therapy.  Check, check, check.  I prepared myself for physically feeling like a fraction of myself?  No check.

I am used to going for a run, going to pilates, TRX or yoga about four times per week.  While I can't do those things right now I expected that in addition to the arm movements prescribed by the hospital I'd at least being going on long walks.  Sure it's only my second day since surgery but my big accomplishments today were taking a shower and going to the grocery store.  Not exactly the endurance, strength or dexterity I was planning to be displaying...let alone grace.

Tomorrow is another day.  Tomorrow I will walk for at least 30 minutes.